Beyond the Keys

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NOTE: The following story is a made-up story about how even in my worst times, one thing can make me feel better (and you won’t find out what that thing is until you read the story). Enjoy!

I wake up to the sound of storm clouds and booming thunder, panting heavily as if I had just run up a thousand stairs. My hand rests on the top of my forehead as I recall the dream of headless clowns chasing me through a spider infested cave. I reach under my sweat covered pillow and take out my phone. I turn my phone on and see the time was 1:27 am (there was nothing worse than having a bright little screen in a pitch black room a few inches away from my eyes, in which they haven’t adjusted to the light yet). I take a big sigh as my eyes shut and my arms collapse, causing me to fall into a deep sleep.

“Allyson! Allyson! Wake up! It’s already 8:15, you’re gonna be late for school! I’ve already called you five times!” I hear my mom shout angrily from downstairs. I groan loudly and roll myself out of bed, landing on my phone that I had dropped in the middle of the night. I quickly brush my teeth, change my clothes, and run down the stairs tripping on almost every other step. I stuff my face with a glass of cold milk and a bowl of spicy noodles. I sprint across my living room carpet to my crumpled backpack laying on the floor. My clumsy hands compress my backpack with loads of loose papers and torn binders, as if they had a mind of their own. My mom rushes me out of the garage door and I throw myself into her black BMW, dragging my 5 ton backpack along with me. I frantically put my seat belt on as I listen to my mom lecturing me about how I never manage my time wisely. Why don’t you do this? Why don’t you do that? Blah, blah, blah. After that annoying 10 minute car ride, I fling myself out of the car and dash to the school entrance. As I get pelted with heavy raindrops I think to myself “I know this day isn’t going to turn out well.”

I crash through the front doors and race through the hallways, attempting to not get caught by any of the teachers. I skip down the stairs as I hear the late bell for first period ring. I struggle to get my locker open and take my stuff out, dropping almost everything I try to carry. I run up the stairs once more and through the hallways of the 2nd floor. I finally burst through the doors of my science class, panting a little as I see 25 pairs of eyes staring at me, along with one very annoyed teacher. Embarrassed, I walk to my seat as my friend walks by and whispers in my ear “Why did you get here so late? I was waiting for you in the library 20 minutes ago so we could study for the science quiz!” My eyes open wide with surprise as I ask her “WE HAVE A QUIZ TODAY!?” But she already left to her seat. The science quizzes get passed out and my stomach started churning. Once a quiz gets passed down to me i just stare at it with a blank face. I put my hand on my forehead, trying to recall what we’ve learned from the previous days, but my mind is jumbled with mixed thoughts. It’s only been 3 minutes and it’s as if everybody’s pencils are moving at 50mph while mine is moving at one. I suddenly lose hope and start to guess as I realize that I’ve been staring at the term osteoporosis for about 8 minutes. I anxiously turn in my quiz in the turn in tray and bury my head in my desk, not paying attention to the rest of class.

The next few classes seem to drift by until I get to fourth period, aerobic activity. Today was the day we had to run a mile. The reason I hate running long distances is because of one thing, asthma. Asthma is a disease where in heavy exercise, you don’t breathe well. The coach drags us to the freezing cold track and commences the run. I set my feet, take a deep breath, and move my feet forward. The first 2 laps were okay, but when it came down to the third lap, pain started to kick in. I start to breathe more heavily, my legs start to ware out, and my vision gradually gets blurry. I try and run as far as I can, feeling as though my numb legs weigh 5 tons heavier than they usually do. With just half a lap to finish, I use every last drop of energy I have until my legs abruptly collapse to the floor, dragging my body down with me. The only thing I can see is a sea of black , I tried breathing for air but nothing seemed to reach my lungs. “Allyson! What happened?” I hear my friend’s say with a worried tone to their voices. I slowly open my eyes in panic as I realize that I haven’t been breathing for 20 seconds. I struggle to speak as a few words escape my mouth “Can’t…..br-breathe” The coach does everything she can do to pump air back into my lungs, within 6-7 tries I gradually start to breathe again. I stand up, back hunched, legs shaking, and face pale. My mind is blank, the bell rings, and I slowly walk to lunch.

I fly through fifth and sixth period but land hard on seventh. I completely forgot that I had a presentation due today, and just for my luck, I got called first. I anxiously get up in front of the class and start my sloppy presentation. I stumble on almost every other word, finding at least one spelling mistake on each slide. I’ve only gone through a quarter of my presentation when the teacher says “Ok Allyson you’ve already gone over the 7 minute limit, it’s time for the next person to present.” With a disappointed look on his face. I speed walk to my seat with red hot cheeks, sweaty palms, and a mind full of embarrassment.

I sit at the very back of the bus and glance at my science quiz grade on my phone. 75. At least I passed? I try to ignore the feelings and emotions inside, but instead release them as tears, my head buried in the bus seat.

I trudge down the sidewalk to my house and collapse through the door. My emotions correlative to the cold hard floor below. I feel as though my esteem has been crushed until I see the silhouette of something out of the corner of my eye. A piano. I crawl to the brown bench and sit myself down, already feeling warmer. I place my hands on the keyboard, oddly they fit perfectly in the shape of my hand. I start out playing a few random notes, smiling as I go. I then start to play whole melodies, all of my emotions flow out of my fingertips, creating a beautiful harmony. All of my memories in the past 12 hours, from the clown massacre dreams, being late to school, getting a 75 on my science quiz, almost dying from an asthma attack, to getting overwhelmed by embarrassment from my unfinished project; all of those memories started to fade away. I close my eyes and just keep playing, feeling the amity under my finders. However, I didn’t simply play. I expressed.

I barely hear my mom walk through the garage door as she interrupts me and asks “How was your day today?” And the only words that come out of my mouth are “It was good. Really good.”

 

 

 


Taekwondo to Me

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When people hear the word taekwondo, they usually think of it as a weird version of karate or doing a karate chop while in a crane stance. I used to also think the same thing when I first signed up, but taekwondo has been one of the best choices I’ve made in my life. I still remember my very first day at taekwondo camp, it was a hot July summer day in 2008, my thoughts were switching on and off between “Why am I doing this? I’m never going to fit in.” and “Maybe I should give this a try and see how it goes.” Because of that second thought, I have discovered one my all-time favorite sports, and I will never regret making that decision.

On the first day of the camp, I sat at the very back of the dojo with the beginners and we all glared at the backs of the black belts. They looked so disciplined and self controlled, standing tall with their hands to their sides, and as I saw them I got inspired to work hard so that someday I might be standing where they were now. Each lesson I would learn something new and I would fall more in love with this sport everyday. When I got to yellow belt (the third belt) it was time to start learning how to spar. Sparring is one the most tiring, fast paced, and painful activities in martial arts. It requires a lot of stamina, speed, technique, and focus. Not only is sparring a really good work out, but it also teaches you how to control your body and protect yourself in a real fight. Sparring took me a lot of practice until I finally got good at it, and because of it now I am able to do most of the moves as an instinct.

After a lot of hard work, sweat, and success, it was finally the day for the testing of my first Black Belt. I was extremely nervous and I was afraid that if I failed the testing that my life was over, so I spent most of my time at home practicing target drills, sparring drills, self defense, board breaks, and forms. The test was a total of about 2-3 hours and the most intense parts were the forms and the sparring. A form is a series of moves used to practice blocks and strikes (usually meant for show), each one having 40-60 moves, the part I was most nervous about was remembering all of the moves because I had to know 5 different forms! Even though forms is pretty challenging, testing sparring was the torturous part. There were a total of 8 partners,  each round was 3-5 minutes, and after each round the partners rotate. At about the 4th rotation everyone starts to feel dead and can barely move, but the hardest part for me is that I have to deal with asthma (a lung disease). I often have to take a break in the middle of the test, which I’m always afraid about doing because it might take off points, but I kept telling myself not to let my asthma take control. When the test was over, I felt like I was going to pass out, but I knew that it was all worth it.

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Creative Commons License Photo Credit: Michael Holler via Compfight

I am currently a 2nd Degree Advanced Black Belt, and I couldn’t be any happier. I realized that getting to black belt was only the beginning, but it’s not about the belt that matters, it’s the journey.